I would like to start this off by saying how very sorry I am in not writing a post in so long. I have been so busy and everything else I just haven't had the time to write anything or keep you all up to date with what I have been doing, thinking or other wise. I would also like to state that my laptop has been in 'laptop hospital' because I got mad at it and threw a pen at it and broke the screen.... Yes well done Roxanne on that one, 10 out of 10 for effort and everything. So I am very sorry and I do know that it is the middle of January now and I should have done this at the start but I am doing it now so you can carry on reading or just leave its totally up to you.
This time last year I was a very different person. And not in a good way let me tell you that. I was losing all hope in myself, my family and my friends and I fell into a deep dark hole. I was falling out with everyone and not because I didn't like them but because I felt that no one understood me and what I was going through. I lost a lot of people with what I did because they just couldn't handle it and to them, if you are reading this I am very sorry in what I had put you through.
It got worse from there on in and I just couldn't pull myself out, I am not ready to tell you what I went through nor do you want to know, but I want to tell you that it does get better. I mean it did take me a long time and I had to drop out of University in February 2013 as it was just too much for me to handle along with everything else that was going round in my mind, which I felt that it was sending me crazy and matter of fact it was. I still struggled with every day things but as time moved on and I had my best friend with me the whole way (of which I thank her for) I did start to get better.
Now not having a job really does suck and this didn't help my situation either. But just to let you all know I am now a lot better and a better person. I read a lot more books and I do go out and see my friends. This year is going to be so much more different than last year as I know for a fact it is already starting to look different. I refuse to be that person that I once was and I never want to put my family and friends through what I did last year. I hurt them so much so for that again I am really truly sorry for everything and just know that you being there for me to tell me straight and not to bullshit me has made me a lot stronger as a person.
This year I am looking to put all my spare time into trying to make YouTube videos and see how that works out because watching them has also helped me through a lot of the crap. I would like to thank you all that have read this and I am sorry that there has been no photos with this post as I thought that it was of a more deep thought post than my other ones.
I want you to know that even if you do fall out with your parent/s then it does get better they are only doing it (whatever it is, such as shouting or whatever) because they love you. I'm always here to talk because 9 time out of 10 I have been through a lot and i can help you, even if you don't want me to respond I am here to listen and sometimes that's all you need.
LOVE XXX
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